Depression (A Chapter from my upcoming Book)

Here is the chapter from the book I am currently writing addressing Depression. I would love to get some feedback on it, as I am still trying to get the book cleaned up to send off to the editor! Please, let me know what you think:

Testimony submitted to Heroes in Recovery

Hi, my name is David and I am a person in long-term recovery. What that means for me is I have not used drugs or alcohol since January 31^st, 2009 and because of that I have been able to accomplish things I never would have dreamed possible. I am a husband, father, sponsor, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, hope dealer and director of the nonprofit Better Life in Recovery (BLiR).  

Long-Term Recovery: Why Relapse isn't an Option

“Everyone has a relapse left in them, but I don’t have another recovery in me.”

Absolutely one of the worst things I have heard.

Ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do so many people leave that relapse an option, stalking them every day. Is it not enough that our brains and old playmates and playgrounds are already against our continued sobriety? It was for me, so I decided to do something about it. I tried on long-term recovery and liked how it fit. Then I poured myself into recovery like I had my addiction, 24/7 and 365. I kept the momentum going and never stopped doing the next right thing!

Moving from Sobriety to Recovery with 7 Simple Additions

I often explain the difference between sobriety and recovery to people. For people who never struggled with addictions, they do not understand the two are different. In one of the fellowships, they have a clever way of presenting the difference by posing a question: 

"What do you get when you sober up a drunken horse thief?"

David Stoecker: Interview for Drug Free VA

This is an interview for Sink or Swim, which is part of the Drug Free VA campaign. It was a really great experience, and I  hope it helps people who see it. I have truly been blessed to have the opportunity to speak in videos, television commercials and communities. I love that I have gone from dealing dope to dealing hope through my recovery, and enjoy the opportunities I have had to share my story with others so that they too can lead better lives.

Bottom line, drugs make you feel good but lead you to a lot of negative choices. Recovery, on the other hand, is not only possible it is amazing! Apply the 5 Pillars of Recovery (http://betterlifeinrecovery.blogspot.com/2014/12/long-term-recovery-5-pillars-of-recovery.html)  or the extended version I call the Locker Room (http://betterlifeinrecovery.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-locker-room-10-things-for-long-term.html) and you are sure to attain long-term recovery. Long-term recovery should be everyone's goal. It does take some effort. After all, recovery is not for people who need it or want it, but for the people who actually work it!

Educating people on addiction/recovery and reducing stigma are my passion. If they are your passion as well, check out what Better Life in Recovery is doing. We are transforming lives with recovery. We do this by dealing hope and reducing the stigma that surround addictions and mental health issues through community service, education and awareness events that celebrate people in long-term recovery! Thanks for reading and watching.

Long-Term Recovery: It Works if You Work It

I was hacked off this week. A friend relapsed, and it made me angry at first. How can anyone who has significant clean time relapse. Once you have several years and see life is amazing without drugs/alcohol, what could possess you to use again?

Then I remembered how cunning, baffling and strong addiction can be. I thought back to my relapses in the past. I no longer wanted to use, yet I did anyway. There were multiple reasons that I relapsed. In a way they were useful to me because I always learned and grew from them.

In the wake of his relapse, I reflected on the things that have kept me rocking a sober recovery this time. Never forget, your addiction is in the back of your head: running on a treadmill, lifting weights and doing research! It is getting stronger and smarter each and every day, trying to figure out the best way to take over your life again. This is to be avoided at all costs!!

If our addiction is getting stronger and smarter, we obviously need to insure our recovery is stronger than our addiction. The question is, how do we strengthen our recovery? There is no easy way. In fact, it can be difficult at first. Here is how I have built long-term recovery:

Long-Term Recovery: The One Rule that Changed My Life

One rule that can change your life…….

Does that sound too good to be true?

 Is there really one rule that can change your life?

YES!!!

I am living proof that you can change your life. I have been through the wringer. I hit rock bottom and grabbed a shovel. It wasn't good enough for me. If being bad was all I was good at I wanted to excel. I gave my addictions my all. I had a hole in me that I kept trying to fill. There was never enough drugs, girls or money to fill the void, so I kept doing more.  

Then I hit my last bottom. I realized I not only needed to get clean, I wanted to get clean. I worked recovery like I had addiction, all day every day. I made positive changes instead of just talking about them. One of those changes was asking myself several questions before I did anything. After a while, I no longer needed to ask myself the questions anymore.

Why?

Long-Term Recovery: The 5 Pillars of Recovery

What are the 5 Pillars of Recovery? They are 5 things you must have to insure successful long-term recovery. As a counselor specializing in co-occurring disorders, I use the 5 Pillars with all of my clients: eating disorders, chemical dependency, codependency, depression, grief and loss or stagnantion. They are beneficial for everyone.

In the field of recovery, I have found that they are vital. When I have had a client relapse, it was usually because they had not made all 5 of them part of their lives. When I have had a friend who slipped, it was because they stopped doing one or more of them. There is more to recovery than just these 5 things, but I have never seen someone who was actively applying them on a consistent basis relapse. That is how important they are!

Long-Term Recovery beats Addiction Hands Down

As an addict, I lacked concern for anything other than my next high. As an agnostic I lacked accountability. For me, those combined for a perfect storm of problems. (I am not saying all addicts and agnostics are this way, but I was.)

I could manufacture and sell methamphetamine without caring about its' impact on other people. I could hurt people over tiny amounts of money and not worry about any spiritual repercussions. I could steal from anyone, sleep with whoever I wanted to and leave them immediately after with no concerns other than legal ramifications.

Life was easy and uncomplicated. Unless the police caught me, I would never be held responsible for the things that I did. Even if they caught me, I would still never have to answer for EVERYTHING that I had done to people. My life was all about me.

Your Life Can Be Better in 8 Easy Steps

If you have never done drugs I encourage you not to start. If you are doing drugs, I encourage you to quit now. Most of my old friends are either dead or in prison. I am working and get to spend time with my wife and children and play at the park with them. Trust me; this recovery thing is everything they tell you it is. There is a better life in recovery, and I am living proof!

There are some requirements to recovery, and I everyone can benefit from them whether they struggle with addictions or not. Here are 8 requirements to living a better life. I start with my 5 Pillars of Recovery and add a few more:

Long-Term Recovery: You Never Have to Use Again

I remember being at a meeting and hearing someone say, “Relapse is part of the process.” I sat there, thought about it for a minute and realized that is one of the dumbest things I had ever heard.

Relapse may be part of some people’s road to recovery, but some people stop and never use again. Telling people that relapse is part of the program is done for a reason and I understand that. I believe it is done so that when people relapse, they are not ashamed or embarrassed of their relapse and never come back to a meeting again.

That said, there are way better things to tell someone than relapse is part of the program. Someone telling me that can actually fuel my relapse.

I prefer something that I heard at a meeting about 15 years ago.

Long-Term Recovery from Addiction: Controlled but not Cured

The other day one of my friends said, “Addiction isn't a disability because it can be cured. You can’t cure a disability.” 

I wanted to scream, “YOU CANNOT CURE ADDICTION!!!” but controlled the urge. Instead, I thought out my reply. As someone in long-term recovery it is my job to educate people, which needs to be done carefully so as not to alienate them. Too little and the point is not made, too much and I am offensive and the point is not heard.

Several questions popped into my head:

Can addiction be cured?

What does cured mean?

Am I cured?