Testimony submitted to Heroes in Recovery

Hi, my name is David and I am a person in long-term recovery. What that means for me is I have not used drugs or alcohol since January 31^st, 2009 and because of that I have been able to accomplish things I never would have dreamed possible. I am a husband, father, sponsor, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, hope dealer and director of the nonprofit Better Life in Recovery (BLiR).  

Long-Term Recovery: Spiritual Spackle

Today, I want to introduce you to the concept of Spiritual Spackle. It is what took me from bitter to grateful and from abstinent to being in recovery. To understand what Spiritual Spackle is, let’s start with a story from my younger years:

Long-Term Recovery: Overcoming Resentments

I was asked to talk to one of my friend’s friends. She had overdosed and would be spending a couple of weeks in the hospital. She had also gotten a probation violation. As we talked all I heard were resentments. She was angry with the world!

“How dare the hospital keep me here.”

“How dare my probation officer file a violation.”

“If my friend hadn't got me high, I wouldn't be in his mess.”

Her resentments reminded me of………..me! Resentments robbed me of my serenity for years. I allowed them to keep me trapped in a cycle of addiction for years. If not resolved, they will do the same to you!

Long-Term Recovery: The 5 Pillars of Recovery

What are the 5 Pillars of Recovery? They are 5 things you must have to insure successful long-term recovery. As a counselor specializing in co-occurring disorders, I use the 5 Pillars with all of my clients: eating disorders, chemical dependency, codependency, depression, grief and loss or stagnantion. They are beneficial for everyone.

In the field of recovery, I have found that they are vital. When I have had a client relapse, it was usually because they had not made all 5 of them part of their lives. When I have had a friend who slipped, it was because they stopped doing one or more of them. There is more to recovery than just these 5 things, but I have never seen someone who was actively applying them on a consistent basis relapse. That is how important they are!

The Platinum Rule beats the Golden Rule for Long-Term Recovery

When I got sober, I believed I deserved to hurt. I deserved pain for the people I hurt. There was a massive trail of broken lives in the wake my addiction had created. When I got hurt, I knew I had it coming. My sponsor saw I had this problem and talked to me about the Golden Rule. I had trouble relating to it.

Next he introduced me to the Silver Rule, thinking I could understand that better. The Silver Rule posits, "One shouldn't treat others in a way they would not like to be treated." This still did not work. I thought I had to do penance for old behaviors. When bad things happened, I chalked them up to reaping what I sowed.

I knew I had to become more positive so I looked to the person I felt positive about. No matter how much I disliked myself, I loved my sister. At the time she was the person I loved the most. I did not ever want to see someone mistreat her. She was my inspiration for the Platinum Rule, which is to:

TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT MOST