Leaving a Legacy

I really want to share with you a couple of the lessons I learned long ago that completely changed my life. You see, I used to look at the lives of others and feel cheated. I would see the amazing vacations they went on the fun things they did and get jealous. I disliked people simply because they were from families that had money. Then one day, I woke up and realized a few things.

First and foremost, I would make a really horrible someone else. In fact, for most of my life I tried. I would attempt to be the coolest person in the room or follow fads because everyone else did. That path led me to substance use, violence and anger. But what could I possibly do? Maybe I should just focus on me and figure out what I want to do with my life and who I wanted to become. I had spent so long trying to be other people I lost who I was and it took years for me to figure it out.

Second thing I did was instead of comparing myself to others, I instead compared myself to the me I was yesterday and set the bar just a little bit higher each day. I realized that over time I was making some gigantic changes and I could actually pass the mirror test for the first time that I could remember. Not since being molested from 3-6 had I been able to look in the mirror and like the guy looking back. Suddenly, after challenging myself to be a little better each day for a couple of years I realized I was a good person. I did great things, I contributed to my community and I had become a necessary part of it.

Third, I learned the difference between wants and needs. I had them confused for a very long time, thinking that I needed things to be happy. I should have listened to that saying I heard so long ago, "The best things in life aren't things." If I did not need it to survive, I could probably live without it. Over time, not squandering my money on things I thought I "HAD" to have, I started being able to afford a little luxury item here and there. I may not be rich, but today I realize that all my needs are met, and that is a lot more than can be said for me before I stepped into long-term recovery!

Fourth, the daily gratitude list is by far one of the most under-appreciated things you can ever do. Read about it here. I needed to not only take time to stop and enjoy the good things in my life, That was a good start, but writing them down day after day and keeping them allowed me to have something when my depression or negativity kicked in I could look at. It was something tangible I could review that acknowledges how blessed I am today: great job, amazing wife, kids I adore and a passion for doing the right thing and a live shaped by that mission.

Finally, I stopped thinking of community service as a bad thing. I stopped seeing community service as something a probation officer or judge assigned me to do and instead something I needed to do. My recovery is second in importance only to my creator, but doing community impact is a close third. It is the life's blood flowing through my recovery. It is what keeps me from being an angry sober guy. Knowing I make my community a better place puts a pep in my step and a smile in my face. It is one more reason I KNOW that I will never use again. Not only do my wife, kids, friends, clients and peers need me, my community needs me. I am vital to my community.

So, remember. If you stop comparing yourself to others and begin trying to be better than the day before, learn the difference between wants and needs and complete a gratitude list each and every day over time you will start to discover who you are and why you are here. Once that begins, you will then begin to see where you fit into the world and from there you will find what aspect of your community you can impact most. Once you have discovered that, start making a difference! That my friends, is how you leave a lasting legacy!