Thank God I'm a Pickle!!

Sitting in the rooms I once heard a man say that you can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber. He was saying that as a reply to another person who had asked if they would ever be normal again. That is what was said, and the subject was dropped at that. Basically, the answer was, “NO!!! You will never be normal again!” The guy did not seem very happy with that answer. I guess that he wanted to be normal again. He wanted to become a cucumber again. I felt sorry for him, so I had to reply. This is probably not word for word what I said, but it is as near as I can remember:

There are “normies” and then there are the rest of us. I am blessed and optimistic because I am part of the rest of us. “Why,” you might be asking, “would you want to have lived a jacked up life?” I admit, it took me a minute to get to where I am, because I was ashamed of it and was not as vocal about my recovery at one time as I am today. To help you understand, here is how I see the above cucumber and pickle comparison.

Take a normie and the comparison used. A normal person is a cucumber. They have not had a lot of turmoil in their lives, not many tragedies and their struggles are minimal. Due to that untested nature of existence they have been able to remain a cucumber. That is fine for them. I personally like cucumbers. They taste good in my salad. That said, I could never enjoy them by themselves because they are just too plain and ordinary. They lack flavor.

Then there are the rest of us, the pickles. We started out as cucumbers, just like the normies. Unlike the normies, we have gone through a process that has changed us. We have felt the fires of life and had things thrown into the mix that have seasoned us. Through that process we have gained strength, experience and wisdom that normal people just don’t have. We have attaining a better existence due to a process many people will never know.

It is hard to appreciate what you have unless you have had nothing. That could be financially, spiritually, hopelessness, etc. If you go from having nothing to have something, it is amazing. Saturday I went on a 25 mile bicycle ride and about 15 miles into it I ran out of water. When I finally got a drink 10 miles later it was some of the best tasting water EVER because I had gone without. When I lived a hopeless life,  mired in addiction worshiping drugs/power/sex as an atheist then turned my life over to Christ I gained a relationship with God that was unlike anything I had ever felt. I crave that relationship because I know how miserable my life was without it.

You never know how strong you are unless you go through difficult things. Much like the cucumber, it will not change unless it is goes through the process. Once it goes through the process that pickle begins to soak up the spices to make it what I consider to be a much better product in the end. The same goes for the hurts, habits and hang ups we struggle with.

I am a hope dealer. I am really good at what I do. I live my life for God with a focus on my family first and second dealing hope and decimating stigma that surrounds addiction and mental health that men, women and children struggle with every day. I am good at what I do because I was once a cucumber until I went through a process that transformed me, life. Because of that transformation I can give hope to others that are hopeless. I am a hope dealer because I am a pickle. A cucumber cannot do what I do. They can teach you some amazing tools using evidence-based practices, but they cannot do what someone with lived experience can.

You cannot help someone work through their struggles and give them  hope recovery is possible when they are completely defeated and hopeless unless you too have struggled. You may not have had the same struggles, but you have to have overcome something to give you the insight that you need. Addiction to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, codependency, pornography, power, anger, shopping, money, trauma, grief and loss, etc at their root are all very similar.

People just want to know that you too have struggled; that you are a pickle just like them. We have some common ground. So remember, the next time you get told you are a pickle and could never be turned back into a cucumber, be grateful. After all, what pickle in their right mind would ever want to be turned back into a plain, flavorless cucumber? I know I wouldn’t!