7 years ago today my world stopped. I laughed at
the time. I do that when I’m hurting. Then I drank…………..a lot. I went to
Florida and tried to drown my sorrow. I found out it could swim. What chance
did I have of escaping the truth?
NONE!
ZERO!
For the first time I could not escape my pain. I
tried to hide it, tossing it behind walls built over the years. The walls
turned to mist and floated away. This time it was different. I couldn't stop
thinking about it. I felt something I had not felt for years.
HOPELESS!
EMPTY!
In the past I numbed myself by abusing more of
my vices: women, alcohol,drugs, violence masochism. It always made it better. This
time pain remained. I could not get over what happened. I felt something I had
never felt before.
DEFEATED!
CRUSHED!
This was my story after my dad’s suicide. People
said he was selfish. Truth is, he was hurting. He was my superman and
depression his kryptonite. He did what he felt was right and left us in shock. We
were not on the best of terms. The last time I saw him I said things I never
got to take back. For the first time, I knew regret.
SHAME!
ANGUISH!
Then I was reintroduced to the 12 steps through Celebrate
Recovery. I did not just work them, I applied them. I chased recovery like I
had my excesses. I started to experience a new feeling.
RELIEF!
FORGIVENESS!
God reached into the frigid cellar I had locked
my heart in and transformed it. I began to smile again. I discovered a
positive outlook on life that I have been told is contagious. I was reborn.
SAVED!
REDEEMED!
Today I have a beautiful family. I am a hope
dealer and a stigma slayer. I started Better Life in Recovery so the world
would know how incredibly recovery is! I made my life a living amends and a 180
occurred. Today feels different than yesterday did.
BLESSED!
GRATEFUL!
My father’s suicide had a lasting impact on me.
In the beginning I was whipped and defeated yet people cheered me on. Thanks to
them I survived and found a life beyond anything I ever hoped for. I cherish
things I once laughed at.
GRACE!
RECOVERY!
Out of the ashes of my deepest depression I
found victory because people cared. I challenge you to talk to people you
seldom do. Smile at strangers. Be a beacon of hope. Show optimism in a world that
is far too jaded. Share your sunshine with the world around you
.
LAUGH!
LOVE!
You
never know what the person next to you is going through, or how bad their day
has been. So stop keeping your story to yourself. Stop introducing yourself as
an addict or an alcoholic and stand on your long-term recovery. Make the world know
how joyous recovery is and break the chains of stigma!
The life you save could
be your own!
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