Long-Term Recovery from Addiction: Controlled but not Cured

The other day one of my friends said, “Addiction isn't a disability because it can be cured. You can’t cure a disability.” 

I wanted to scream, “YOU CANNOT CURE ADDICTION!!!” but controlled the urge. Instead, I thought out my reply. As someone in long-term recovery it is my job to educate people, which needs to be done carefully so as not to alienate them. Too little and the point is not made, too much and I am offensive and the point is not heard.

Several questions popped into my head:

Can addiction be cured?

What does cured mean?

Am I cured?

Being cured means I can use again. I know I cannot use again. I have proven that to myself several times. I have quit using, and then relapsed. Every time I thought I could control my use, I was wrong.

I discovered through trial and error I will never be cured. I can control my addiction. I don’t pick up, I avoid high risk places and I apply the 5 Pillars of Recovery (http://betterlifeinrecovery.blogspot.com/2014/12/long-term-recovery-5-pillars-of-recovery.html). It is that easy. Okay, it may not be that easy at times, but it is doable!

Now how do I get this point across to my friend?

I thought of a mutual friend who is allergic to shellfish. By avoiding shellfish, he has not had an allergic reaction the entire time I have known him. He was the perfect example to explain what recovery is.

“As someone in long-term recovery from addiction, I guarantee you I am not cured. I have over 5 years clean and sober only because I have not picked up and used. If I were to pick up and use I would find out I am still an addict. I am cured the same way someone who is allergic to shellfish is cured.”

“When was the last time John had an allergic reaction to shellfish,” I asked him?

“He has not had one since I've known him,” he replied, “and I have known him for 20 years.”

“So John can eat shellfish, then, right? He has not had a reaction in 2 decades, so that must mean he is cured.”

Instantly, a look of comprehension flooded my friend’s eyes.

“So you are saying that you can control your addiction by not using and staying away from drugs and alcohol, kind of like John does when we go out to eat?”

“Exactly,” I said, “John and I are not cured. We both have life long issues that will not change. Addiction cannot be cured, but it can be controlled. By no means am I ever cured. Thinking like that could cost me my life.”

That was the conversation, start to finish.

In the past I would have yelled and screamed to get my point across. Not anymore. I made my point and was civil in doing it. I used reason, logic and knowledge to educate someone about the nature of addiction/recovery.

This is one more thing recovery’s done for me.